‘Tis the Season...

Forgive me if I’m not feeling the holiday spirit. It’s not that I’m sad or depressed or angry or down in any way. It just doesn’t feel like the holiday season. This is the first Christmas in my 29 years that I will not spend it with family. As a kid my friends always mattered more to me than my family. I was ungrateful for my family offered. It wasn’t until there was physical distance between us that I grew to really appreciate what was always right there in front of me. I know that there will be more years to come to spend with family.

I’m spending Christmas Eve and day with my friend Rebecca. Neither of us have family in Minnesota. We’re going to make night of it, with a gift exchange Christmas morning, breakfast, Sweeney Todd and sledding.

While I love my family very much, I’m also a firm believer that we make our own paths in life and that we shouldn’t be held back by our love for our families. I moved half way across the country to experience something new. For all I know, I’ll end up back in the Bay Area someday. Right now, this is my time, my opportunity, to live outside of my comfort zone, where I can experience a different culture.

I’ve always respected how much family means to most Minnesotans. Last year on a date, I was cornered into the “what I don’t like about Minnesota” conversation. Usually I can bob and weave and stay away from the subject. But I realized that night that it’d easier to share what I do like rather than what I don’t.

J: I know you hate it here.
Me: I really don’t. I mean, if I hated it here, I would have left already. I won’t pretend that there aren’t things I don’t understand or like about Minnesota.
J: Right, see, I read all the time on Craigslist’s “Rant & Raves” how we’re this or that or this.
Me: Well, what makes you think that the same things don't matter to me as they do you?
J: Your family isn’t here. How could you appreciate the same things I do?
Me: How do you know that I don’t appreciate the fact your family means so much to you? I really do like that family means as much as it does
J: Oh, right, um… that wasn’t the response I expected.
Me: I told you I wasn’t like everyone else.

As many of us get together with our friends and family to celebrate the holidays, I think it’s more important to pay attention to what we have in common than what separates us. Have a glass of eggnog rum, will you, and don’t forget to tell the people in your lives that you love them.